| bitches... |
[28 Oct 2004|02:44pm] |
livejournal absolutely will not let me switch this paid account to Euphoric_Legend.
So...I'm keeping them both...but one will be used for pregnancy updates...I think it shall be this one.
SO yay for all of you keeping this journal as a friend :P
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[02 Oct 2004|04:59am] |
So I did it.
new SN and LJ...sn is ChaiSkirt@aol.com and username is Euphoric_Legend.
Those cool people know I still have a sn called EL.
Yeeaaah...gonna spend a bit spiffing the new lj up. not deleting this one until I can figure out if I can transfer my paid account.
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| Changes... |
[02 Oct 2004|04:37am] |
I'm signing my name anything but juju or Julia...I'm asking those who call me Julia to not...even Juju I don't want to hear.
I actually signed my name "J." a second ago.
I'm this close to dying my hair again...
I painted my nails 4 different shades today before I was happy.
I bought 4 new items of clothing...88 bucks.
I need a new screen name and a new livejournal.
I've had this one for a year basically...and pixiestickjunkie has long been a dead running joke.
If you make suggestions to my new lj/sn/NAME I'll do something really nice for you.
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| I should never dream. Never. |
[02 Oct 2004|04:22am] |
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mood |
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 groggy |
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Still at Kens..had the third dream like THAT now.
Rafe was all "were they good or bad dreams?"
and I answered "not the kind you like"
blerg.
But I did have one dream where a bunch of idiot girls were playing monopoly on the street in front of Brenden...we ran them over. MWAHAHA! I tore their hats and ripped their hair. So we had to take the long way home, lol.
They're playing some game...complicated...my sims2 crashed hours ago so I slept..I woke up every hour like 8 mins before the fresh hour.
My ma hasn't called, strange.
She usually calls at 3am saying "you're a tart, get home."...maybe she fell asleep.
K...off to...I dunno...yeah I don't wanna dream anymore tonight.
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| ...movies |
[01 Oct 2004|01:11pm] |
we're going to see "The Forgotten", we consist of Rafe, Ken, and me.
Probably more of their friends...or not.
I'm not sure.
Squeak might come along, that'd be cool...
they all could talk together then.
I'm doing a lot better...as long as I don't dwell on certain things I pretty confident I can make it through the day.
Some things he says really hurts though....he doesn't mean to, but now I have something else to dwell on.
I'm going to watch the show I was watching with my mom and then sleep until 3ish. So I'll have time to get ready for 5:50...yeah
:)
typed smileys.
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[01 Oct 2004|05:09am] |
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mood |
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 hold me. |
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music |
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seasons of love |
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http://www.livejournal.com/users/at_her_best/1973.html?nc=7
I miss her so badly.
I was fighting with Rafe about 4am...and I was up to snapping point and instead of saying what I was going to, "it's been a year" came out.
And I stopped cold and started sobbing.
I went through stages..he held me and I cried.
I wanted to slice my arm with the thumb tack in the wall.
I wanted to take a long walk, and jump off a building.
I wanted to sleep and wake up to be okay. not fine, okay.
I wanted to never have met Rafe.
I wanted to have killed myself properly the first attempt at 12.
I..I..I...my mom.
Is she awake? crying? I don't want to go in there.
I want my dad...and my brother.
I want Ryan.
Ryan makes anything better.
I think it's on dec 12th last year where he made me so happy. I was suicidal and without knowing he helped. a lot.
It's 3am there, but I think I need to call.
Or maybe die...probably sleep...
I feel like I'm being forced to run.
Lily,...you're going to have a guest soon (granted that it's okay). I have some things (not just about Gram) that I need to talk about.
I love you too..I literally close up to everyone right now, including Rafe. My mouth just clamps shut. I tried to say things to him...I moved my mouth but I couldn't talk.
I need to...or I'm going to crack.
I think I have.
or am....
I want my grandma.
a year passes so quickly.
a year ago I was drugged...about to go to chicago and have a one nighter...come home get drugged and have another one nighter...and *snap* I'm living with someone I love very much.
a year ago...it was like a dream..she was sick, going to die but I didn't let it sink in. Drugs hazed it over. I snatched her bottle of pains killers when she died.
I tried to kill myself with them...I took two and they over powered me...I passed out and I'm still fucking here.
I want to be here and I want to be anywhere but here.
Not being here would be solely for myself.
and maybe I just want to do something for myself.
and maybe I don't.
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[29 Sep 2004|06:45pm] |
Subject: haha at her worst.
um no buttmunch, actually im not. im actually making fun of you all, HAHAHAHAHA, so sorry. you lose, go make some friends!!!
witty..at her worst.umm I was called buttmunch, this is actually amusing to me.
And that stupid cunt is actually whining, whichever way you look at it, IT'S WHINING. shit.
Anyways, I'm done. lol
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| "honest living honest living honest living" |
[28 Sep 2004|01:59am] |
When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes of it.
If you're going "I've read that somewhere.." an email or Allen's journal.
Both for me.
That line just makes my life so much better.
My mom had a good birthday.
3 days until one year.
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| wtf is going on? |
[27 Sep 2004|04:16am] |
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Soo...ppl arent showing up on my list..like MY OWN CELL PHONE!
annnd I wasnt logged into LJ, even tho I hit permanent.
..er anyways.
My wuvvels and I watched "Man on Fire" tonight...at the end I cried. Really good movie...wow, yeah. Oscar, pleeeeeease. I'll be mad otherwise.
I don't get THAT emotional ..I mean I cry easy but it doesn't get to me that much.
usually.
the end.
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| cocksucker. |
[25 Sep 2004|09:47am] |
I had just update saying that somebody up there hates me because right as I fell asleep, my alarm went off.
That entry got deleted do to the month not staying on there so LJ trashed it.
....*brain hurts*
Also, what's up with floridas umpteen hurricanes?
off to shower...then go to merle normans
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| wuyba tee eff!..yes striving to be different. |
[25 Sep 2004|09:19am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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seasons of love |
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So I try to sign on but it throws me due to an incoming call at 9 fucking am.
I answer, "no my mom isn't awake, I'll take a message".
So I go to sign online, IT THREW ME DUE TO ANOTHER CALL.
"No my mother isn' avaliable. Yes, 11am works."
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE? CHRIST!
My mom just screamed from her room, "It's 9am on a Satruday, what the fuck is a matter with these fucking people?"
I love my mom and her morning crankiness.
9am..come ON people! I kept thinking it was some kind of horrible emergency. I'm in the middle of my first sex scence in my untitled story, STOP CALLING!
In my untitled story:
Poll #356010 Sex
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 8 Who should I have sex with next? If you chose "other than the above", then who?
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| GRRR |
[25 Sep 2004|08:49am] |
I added more to mynearly 4 paged story and WHAM. Word decides to not save it. Such a bitch.
It's slightly ok because I was going to change it anyways..but some of what I wanted is gone.
I hate machines.
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| my mind is warped... |
[25 Sep 2004|08:24am] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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moooing |
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I keep taking things from my past and changing them into a movie.
I change what really happened to something more twisted.
..instead of sleeping.
I gotta get up in a hour so whats the point of sleeping?
I need to work out some more.
My body was shocked when I did...
"you're not the only one who does that...dont feel special."
yay for my mana icon..haven't used it in a while
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[25 Sep 2004|02:10am] |
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( LOL )
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[25 Sep 2004|01:35am] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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DUDE!
Rosie made out with an exchange student tonight (she's drunk as fuck) curly blonde hair, 5'7 with accent and all!
LoL and for those fucks calling her a slut-shut up! She's having fun. She isn't fucking them, so shut your mouths.
Rosie..you slut.
LoL, I'm so allowed to cause it's me.
But since I know all of you who are doing it, I'll bitch slap you. Yes you too Alex.
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| rawr |
[25 Sep 2004|01:29am] |
In a bubble tumble:
-Allen is Allen in my story, lol. He requested it. And he gets to kill AND save, lol.
-RAFE IS COMING HOME TODAY! W00T!!!
-My dogs vet is fucking nuts. He said that non mammals can get rabies. Have I mentioned this? Idiot.
-I love my teddy bear, yay for IMing me!
errrm that's all? Bubble tumble...it's 1:33...I'm already fucking up school.
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[24 Sep 2004|10:20pm] |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) tienes_amigos
...I'm annoyed and "WHINING TO MY LIVEJOURNAL" oh god, I'm a dork with absolutely no life. I should just kill myself, shouldn't I?
Now you little cunt, be fucking cool and say "yes, you should kill yourself" monitor MY livejournal now cause that's having a life- running around writing stupid ass comments to people. you piece of shit.
Or should I make it plural, since apparently you and your bored friends started this troll journal?
go fuck yourselves.
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[24 Sep 2004|01:31pm] |
Jealous is "did she look at him? Gr..she better not have"
Territorial is "She better look at him but no more or I'll scratch her nose off!"
I'm bi-polar with these, but always hang on to "I'll kill her".
Now that's clear, I dropped 2lbs-w00t!
LoL and now I will sleep.
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